Christmas

                                                                   
                                                              Merry Christmas 2012!

Mom Smucker 1920-2012

Twenty-six years ago I did not go easily toward the idea of moving into a house next door to my mother-in-law. I had heard my share of the stories--strained relationships, hard feelings, families torn apart because two women, the mother and the wife, simply could not find a way to coexist and to "share" the same man. I really liked Carl's mother back then, but I wanted to like her from a safe distance, where there wasn't so much potential for hurt.

Today I can say that is one of the great blessings in my life to have lived next-door to this remarkable lady. It has not always been easy living so close and it hasn't always been perfect, but my mother-in-law found a way early on to endear me so closely  to her that I couldn't help but love her! She treated me exactly as if I was one of her daughters --and you know how much she loved them--and she never seemed to be threatened by the fact that I took her youngest son away from her, just 6 months after her own husband had passed away. Having a grown son of my own now, I see more clearly that it must have been a choice, a decision to accept me, not necessarily something that came naturally at that stage of her life.

She taught me so much in the dailyness of living next door to each other: when to plant the peas in the springtime, how much sugar to add to the peaches when canning, what to do for my baby's high fever. She hemmed pants and made pillows, and brought her delicious baked goods over to us. She had so many simple solutions that came out of a lifetime of her own experience. I benefitted from being in close proximity and learning as we went along. It's probably what I have missed most about her in these last years, as she became more forgetful and less confident in her own ability to run a household. Toward the end, in an interesting role reversal, she would ask ME how to do the very things she had taught me years ago!

She loved our children, oh how she loved our children! She spent time with them, played with them, always had favorite snacks on hand and showered them with genuine adoration, like she could hardly believe these little people were this special! The memories they have of next-door grandma are very fresh in their minds today, even though all four of our children are now grown.

I do not have regrets. Mom Smucker and I never had a fight or spoke harsh words to each other. If she ever had a problem with me, maybe she told my husband, I don't know, but she never tried to change me or make me into anyone other than the person I am. I got the feeling she really did like me!

I so look forward to seeing mom again in heaven, with a body that is free from the ravages of old age and that functions as energetically as her spirit. Who knows, maybe in heaven I'll even get to live next-door to her once again!

 

Rest well, mom. I'll see you soon.

It's a Boy!

Look what JUST ARRIVED! Our grandson, Dylan Cade Stoltzfus, was born on January 26, 2012, weighing in at 7 lb. 11oz.







Big sister Morgan is so nurturing and sweet to her baby brother. She calls him "buddy". The biggest challenge for Morgan has been the fact that Dylan and she both have the same kind of nippy. How do you explain that she gets hers only at bedtime and in the carseat, while baby brother gets his all the time?! She's learning...

I love being Nana! It is a privilege to be there when my daughter's little ones arrrive on the scene, such a pleasure to spend time close to them.

The smell of a newborn has to be the sweetest scent, bar none! Pure, clean, smooth, flawless skin...perfection. Every detail skillfully fashioned by the Creator, who tells us that even before we were born, He knew everything about us! The environment and the fact that this is EARTH will smudge and then erase that newborn perfection, but it is comforting to know that Dylan's life matters. God knows him and has a purpose for this tiny one's life.

My best birthday gifts

For my birthday, I received a coupon from my husband, entitling me to "an overnight stay at ______________, to be joined by a mystery couple on January 1 at 3:00 pm."

Since we had already celebrated my 50th birthday several times in different small settings, I couldn't imagine who would be going away with us for a weekend.

The mystery "couple" turned out to be better than I could have expected--my entire family surprised me by showing up at the cabin Carl had rented for the weekend!Carson and Christy hid under blankets while Tessa videotaped the surprise. =)Doug, Mandi and Morgan joined us a bit later in the day.



I was honored, humbled, really--that my children, who are all now young adults, would choose to clear their schedule to make time to be together for my birthday. I recognize that they all have lives to live, busy schedules and places to go. It was the best birthday present.

There were no deep conversations or stimulating discussions that weekend, just the being there was the gift. Mandi and Doug cooked a traditional pork and sauerkraut meal for New Year's Day. We played board games and Family Feud on our Iphones, read and played with 2-year-old Morgan. We all fell asleep in the living room the first night.









"Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations.
Let your kids be who they are,
and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit."
~Robert Brault