Christmas

                                                                   
                                                              Merry Christmas 2012!

Mom Smucker 1920-2012

Twenty-six years ago I did not go easily toward the idea of moving into a house next door to my mother-in-law. I had heard my share of the stories--strained relationships, hard feelings, families torn apart because two women, the mother and the wife, simply could not find a way to coexist and to "share" the same man. I really liked Carl's mother back then, but I wanted to like her from a safe distance, where there wasn't so much potential for hurt.

Today I can say that is one of the great blessings in my life to have lived next-door to this remarkable lady. It has not always been easy living so close and it hasn't always been perfect, but my mother-in-law found a way early on to endear me so closely  to her that I couldn't help but love her! She treated me exactly as if I was one of her daughters --and you know how much she loved them--and she never seemed to be threatened by the fact that I took her youngest son away from her, just 6 months after her own husband had passed away. Having a grown son of my own now, I see more clearly that it must have been a choice, a decision to accept me, not necessarily something that came naturally at that stage of her life.

She taught me so much in the dailyness of living next door to each other: when to plant the peas in the springtime, how much sugar to add to the peaches when canning, what to do for my baby's high fever. She hemmed pants and made pillows, and brought her delicious baked goods over to us. She had so many simple solutions that came out of a lifetime of her own experience. I benefitted from being in close proximity and learning as we went along. It's probably what I have missed most about her in these last years, as she became more forgetful and less confident in her own ability to run a household. Toward the end, in an interesting role reversal, she would ask ME how to do the very things she had taught me years ago!

She loved our children, oh how she loved our children! She spent time with them, played with them, always had favorite snacks on hand and showered them with genuine adoration, like she could hardly believe these little people were this special! The memories they have of next-door grandma are very fresh in their minds today, even though all four of our children are now grown.

I do not have regrets. Mom Smucker and I never had a fight or spoke harsh words to each other. If she ever had a problem with me, maybe she told my husband, I don't know, but she never tried to change me or make me into anyone other than the person I am. I got the feeling she really did like me!

I so look forward to seeing mom again in heaven, with a body that is free from the ravages of old age and that functions as energetically as her spirit. Who knows, maybe in heaven I'll even get to live next-door to her once again!

 

Rest well, mom. I'll see you soon.

It's a Boy!

Look what JUST ARRIVED! Our grandson, Dylan Cade Stoltzfus, was born on January 26, 2012, weighing in at 7 lb. 11oz.







Big sister Morgan is so nurturing and sweet to her baby brother. She calls him "buddy". The biggest challenge for Morgan has been the fact that Dylan and she both have the same kind of nippy. How do you explain that she gets hers only at bedtime and in the carseat, while baby brother gets his all the time?! She's learning...

I love being Nana! It is a privilege to be there when my daughter's little ones arrrive on the scene, such a pleasure to spend time close to them.

The smell of a newborn has to be the sweetest scent, bar none! Pure, clean, smooth, flawless skin...perfection. Every detail skillfully fashioned by the Creator, who tells us that even before we were born, He knew everything about us! The environment and the fact that this is EARTH will smudge and then erase that newborn perfection, but it is comforting to know that Dylan's life matters. God knows him and has a purpose for this tiny one's life.

My best birthday gifts

For my birthday, I received a coupon from my husband, entitling me to "an overnight stay at ______________, to be joined by a mystery couple on January 1 at 3:00 pm."

Since we had already celebrated my 50th birthday several times in different small settings, I couldn't imagine who would be going away with us for a weekend.

The mystery "couple" turned out to be better than I could have expected--my entire family surprised me by showing up at the cabin Carl had rented for the weekend!Carson and Christy hid under blankets while Tessa videotaped the surprise. =)Doug, Mandi and Morgan joined us a bit later in the day.



I was honored, humbled, really--that my children, who are all now young adults, would choose to clear their schedule to make time to be together for my birthday. I recognize that they all have lives to live, busy schedules and places to go. It was the best birthday present.

There were no deep conversations or stimulating discussions that weekend, just the being there was the gift. Mandi and Doug cooked a traditional pork and sauerkraut meal for New Year's Day. We played board games and Family Feud on our Iphones, read and played with 2-year-old Morgan. We all fell asleep in the living room the first night.









"Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations.
Let your kids be who they are,
and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit."
~Robert Brault

Merry Christmas from the Smuckers!

Thoughts on Turning 50

December 9, 2011.

I am 50 years old today.

Rarely at a loss for words, I have not been able to pin down how I actually feel about this momentous occasion. And it is momentous I suppose, in the same manner that anything in existence for half a century deserves to be recognized. 50 years is a very long time!

Therein lies the irony. I don't feel old. And it doesn't seem like I've been here a long time at all. I DO like celebrations, but that concept has changed for me in the past years. I realized when my husband asked me if I want a 50th birthday party, that I much prefer multiple, small celebrations that allow me to spend one-on-one time with the people who are closest to me. My husband. My children and grandbaby. Several couples who have weathered the seasons of life with Carl and me. My siblings and my parents. My sweet sisters. So I look forward to these outings in the near future.

I waffle between being nonchalant about my birthday ("what's the big deal? it's just a number!") to the other side of the spectrum where I reflect on what my life has meant thus far, and how my past decisions, joys and challenges have led me to where I am today.

So, since I am in one of those pensive moments,alone here in my quiet house for the afternoon...Here are some of my thoughts on turning 50.

* I am glad to be 50 because the alternative stinks. Oh, I do not doubt Heaven. My faith tells me it will be glorious. But I also believe that God put within each human being the desire to LIVE, to stay here on this earth as long as possible! (My 91 year old mother-in-law is a classic example, she often talks about how all the people around her at the retirement home are hunched over and gray-haired. And old. She simply does not see herself in the same category.)

I want to have more time with the man I chose to marry more than 28 years ago. I have never regretted that decision, by the way. Never once. I really believe our next 28 years hold more adventure than we can imagine! I want to continue cheering proudly from the sidelines as my beautiful daughters blossom and turn into young women, one of them on the cusp of becoming a mother for a second time. I want to watch my son make his way in the "real world" after his college graduation next Spring,developing his talents and God-given potential to make a difference in the world. And I can't wait to meet the other grandchildren who will follow Morgan, all little people not yet existing, but the promise is there!

*At 50 I am more at peace with who I am as a person, not so insecure, and I have less need to strive and push and shove my way through. I do not want to feel busy all the time-- busy is no longer synonomous with value and meaning in my life. I am happier to just BE.

*I feel as though, at age 50, I have attained bits of wisdom, not because I'm knowledgeable or smart: but simply by virtue of being here awhile. I am more keenly aware than ever before, how blessed I am. And as Scripure says, "to whom much is given, much is required." I pray that I will be able to use wisely what I have been given, understanding that my competence and sufficiency comes from the God who created me, not something I have worked for within myself.

*I recognize that there will inevitably be major shifts ahead for me. I suppose any woman in her 50's knows instinctively that some things will change, if they haven't already! But I am not talking in just a physical sense. The kids will eventually all be gone. More grandchildren arriving. More time alone for just Carl and me. Changes at work and new ventures in business.

And other surprises I don't know about yet.

But God does.

And I am OK with that.

last first-day-of-school

It's my youngest child's LAST first day of school! Christy is a senior in high school! As a mom, I spent so much of my life focusing on my children's "firsts": first steps, first words, first time riding the bicycle without training wheels, first trip to the orthodontist...

And my husband and I have documented those many firsts over the last 26 years with our four children. Maybe we were a bit over-the-top, I don't know. But I don't regret the 40 plus photo albums stacked on my basement shelves or the hours and hours of video footage (painstakingly switched over to disks in the past few years. Hey, what good is a videotape if you no longer have the machine with which to view it?!)

Just so I could say I finished well (!!), on the day school started, I drove behind my daughter's car all the way to school, walked up and down her hallway, smiled at her teachers and the milling students, got back in my car and came home. This has been a tradition of ours, to go with each one of our kids for every first-day-of-school. (They loved it in the early years, nearly died of embarrassment in the middle years, tolerated it in the latter years and then appreciated it in the end!)

I did it one more time because the "firsts" are winding down for us. In our family, there will never be another first day of school.

When I was knee-deep in diapers, snotty noses, sibling rivalry, 4-kids-in-school schedules, sometimes well-meaning old ladies would come up to me (usually in the grocery store or at church)and say, "Enjoy this time, because it will be gone before you know it!" Yeah, right...

And now, I guess I'm one of those old ladies.

How did THAT happen?

But I love this stage of life. My children are grown up (almost). I only feel little tinges of bittersweet, not regret or loss in this season. Right now I see my mommy years more through the lens of a rear-view mirror. In fact, most of the time I watch younger mothers who are juggling multiple children and I just can't, for the life of me, imagine how they actually DO it all!!

My heart swells with pride when I watch my eldest daughter nurture her little one, when I see my strapping son working hard selling hotdogs at the Phillies stadium to make money for college, when I sit in a Sunday morning service as my daughter leads us in worship, when I observe my 17-year-old teenager choosing to make good decisions, even when those decisions are not easy ones.

So when I look back, recognizing that life is also made up of "lasts", it's really mostly nostalgia and sweet remembering. (And you all know how it is: every mom, as she looks back and reminisces over the years, remembers less and less of the bad and more and more of the good. By the time my youngest is 25, I'll probably think they were all angels and never gave me a single moment's pause!)

I pulled up all of Christy's first-day-of-school pictures and posted them below. I love this girl!





I homeschooled Christy for Kindergarten. It was so exciting to teach my daughter to read and write! 1999





First Bus Ride! First day of first grade, 2000





Grade 2, 2001




Grade 3, 2002




Grade 4, 2003




Grade 5, 2004




Grade 6, 2005




Grade 7, 2006




Grade 8, 2007




Grade 9, 2008




Grade 10, 2009





Grade 11, 2010




Grade 12, 2011